I am having some mixed emotions as I write this blog post.
Currently, I am at the CoHo Inn, sitting on a sofa, my feet perched upon the
coffee table as I feel the Oregon Coastal breeze blow softly into the hotel room,
and the waves crashing in a unique rhythmic fashion, I wonder if they are
trying to speak to me. The view from the sofa is amazing. The sun shining
brightly as it dances off the deep blue ocean water, the water dancing around the
rock clusters as the waves break and shatter to the color white. To me – this is
just about as close to heaven on earth as one can get. Communing with nature,
there is nothing quite like it. Yes, I would rather have my feet in the sand,
the water splashing over my toes – embracing natures coastal ice cube bath. I
know the limits of my physical body right now, and enjoying a walk on the beach
and sand between my toes is not an option. Although, I will be looking for an opportunity
to get close enough to the sand, without walking too much, to feel the energy
of the earth rise up through my body; this is healing.
I have completed 2 chemotherapy cycles consisting of 3
sessions within each cycle; totally 6 chemotherapy infusions. The past month, I
have been rendered virtually home bound, due to the side effects of the
Abraxane – that is the drug I have been allowing to enter my veins over the
past two months. The side effects are particularly challenging because I am
left with very little energy and deep body aches. If you have ever had the
pleasure of having chemotherapy, you most likely know this feeling. My appetite
has been significantly diminished – which is not exactly a bad thing as I am
about 30 pounds heavier then when I had chemo the first go around. When you don’t
have much body weight to work with and you are losing it, that can create a set
of issues. So not to worry – my extra plump sista’ booty and thighs are serving
me well! The side effects I speak of are the ones you can see, but then there
is another set going on inside my body. Oh by the way, I did not mention losing
my hair as a side effect, because I am way to sexy with this baldhead – it’s a bit
unfair to those around me, so I do not want to even make you think that baldness
is a Con – it is actually a Pro in my book.
I am so distracted by the ocean sounds, I am finding it
difficult to continue on writing this update. You see, there are different ways
to look at things – take the old adage, do you see the glass as half full or
half empty? It is what it is and yet there are two different ways to consider
the cup – positive, it is half full or negative it is half empty. To know me is
to know, I am a half-full kind of girl AKA Queen of the reframe. After visiting
with the oncologist, he was pleasantly surprised at how much of a rock star my
body is. “you look really good” and “wow your body really responded to that
chemo better than I imagined”. These are the types of things that you love to
hear from your oncologist! The awesome thing that has been achieved from this
chemo is that while I am taking chemo infusions, my tumor markers have nearly
all returned back into “normal range”. I will share a graph that shows how well
my body responded to the chemotherapy.
The dates listed are when I had chemotherapy and the test
type is listed on the left hand side. As you can see – my tumor markers immediately
began to decrease when taking chemotherapy. Once the number are below 31 – all will
be within normal limits again. So what does this mean? It means the chemo is killing
cancer cells. So when you look at this graph, you may be super stoked – but
wait, there is another side of this too; so celebrate cautiously.
TEST
|
8/6/2015
|
8/13/2015
|
8/20/2015
|
8/28/2015
|
9/10/2015
|
9/17/2015
|
CA 125
|
539
|
350
|
180
|
75
|
23
|
16
|
15.3
|
115
|
89
|
78
|
60
|
42
|
37
|
27.29
|
197
|
127
|
119
|
88
|
42
|
38
|
CEA
|
0.4
|
0.4
|
.6
|
1.1
|
0.7
|
.8
|
It is fabulous that my body responded so well to the
Abraxane, but this poison kills all my good cells along with the cancer cells.
Chemotherapy can cause one’s body organs to begin to shut down due to toxicity.
The side effects, like the newly experienced neuropathy on my feet is no fun at
all. Continuing to do this aggressive chemotherapy regiment is not sustainable
to life and living. I must make a choice at this juncture – because something
has to change.
The oncologist is still talking life expectancy of perhaps
being stretched beyond six months to a year, maybe longer – I got him to say
the maybe longer reminding him that I am determined woman. Curtis and I have
talked a lot about what to do next. I too have sat in silence considering my next
steps. I can tell you that as I write this, the amazing beautiful ocean crashing
below – a gentle breeze touches my cheeks – I know I am making the right choice
for me, with the support of my oncologist. This week happens to be my chemo off
week! Yippee!!!!!! I really look forward
to these weeks. I will still have my blood checked on Thursday, and if current
trends continue, my tumor makers will have finally land into normal range. Next
week, I will undergo at CT/PET scan to see if the tumors have shrunk and completely
left my body – which would be so awesome!!!!! I will then take, what my
oncologist calls “a chemo holiday” and stop chemo for a cycle as I resume my
alternative practices. During this four-week period, I will monitor my blood
weekly to insure that my tumor markers are remaining low. I will be focusing on
taking care of my body – eating clean, allowing a great deal of rest, and remaining
steadfast with my alternative practices that have kept me living a wonderful life
for so many years. During this time period, if my tumor markers increase
rapidly, which is statistically what typically occurs, I will need to make some
difficult choices once again and perhaps get a bump of Abraxane.
Please keep sending letters to:
Christina Garrett
PO Box 192
Philomath, Oregon 97370
Please support our fundraising efforts:
Today, I am hopeful~