August 4, 2015

Healing Energy Needed~

My goal, according to my last blog entry, was to be able to evacuate my bowels and get things moving again! I was able to do just that. Unfortunately, I am locked-up again – the struggle is real people! LOL Although it may take a bit of time, I strive to find a balance between pain medication and fiber intake.

Taking a deep breath…and here we go! The PET/CT results shows that the cancer continues to grow and is migrating across my chest. Wednesday I will be traveling over to the coast to have a PIC line placed and to see the oncologist. . The PIC line will be in my upper left arm; this is delivery system for the chemotherapy. I am getting a PIC rather than a Port, due to the migration of the cancer across my chest; having a foreign body placed in the left chest will only open my body up to increased infection When I see the oncologist on Wednesday, I plan to have him complete the MD portion of the Medical Marijuana application. I am seeking better pain control options and a cannabis oil suppository that has been proven to kill cancer cells.  Some people smoke weed, I apparently prefer to take it up the ass!

This cancer seems to be moving quickly, there are changes in affected breast tissue; the changes occurring within 24 hour time periods. I am beginning to feel a bit tired and need afternoon naps. The pain and discomfort is not too bad, but I am still trying to get a good handle on what to take, how much, and when. It is a process. I do not want to suffer! Managing my discomfort and pain is at the top of my list of things to do.

Over the past several days, I have been working on organizing my life, expressing final wishes to friends/family, processing that my life is ending, scheduling appointments, and getting my comfort team together. It is an interesting time right now. It is difficult to plan for anything beyond several hours – I so wish I had the vocabulary to describe my processing and thought process. I will say that I sure am enjoying each moment as it presents. I am grateful to rest comfortably in peace throughout this entire journey - this has been a beautiful gift. 

I want to extend a special thank you to my soul sista’s Vicki & Karri. Vicki graciously spent a majority of the day with me hanging out, talking, eating, laughing, and crying. I sure love you Vicki! Karri met Vicki and I at the house for some yummy eats and girl talk. I am such a fortunate woman to have so many amazing individuals in my life. 

THANK YOU to everyone that continues to walk this journey with me, I know it is not easy to be my friend right now, as your hearts are breaking for me. Let us all enjoy each moment. Channel thoughts and prayers for my body to heal. Send peaceful, accepting, and healing energy to my family, this is beyond difficult for my darling husband Curtis and my kiddos.

Please uplift me, give me strength, encouragement, laughter, hope, and peace by filling my mailbox daily with your memories. Getting mail the old school way is super cool!

My mailing address:
PO Box 192 
Philomath, Oregon 97370

Today, I am hopeful~