That day
has come again…it is time to shave my hair off. It is not that big of a deal
for me, I have been there done that, plus I actually think I look pretty good
with a bald head. I was wishing my hair would have fallen out sooner so I didn’t
have to shave my legs! But that is okay – the days of shaving my legs will be
over soon enough. My original plan was to have my good friend Adrian McBroom
shave my head this time; Adrian is a compassionate, gentle, generous, fun, and
caring individual. He and I met at George Fox University, we attended the same
Graduate School of Counseling together; he graduates spring 2016. He is an accomplished
hairdresser in Corvallis, Oregon and has been for many years. If you need a
great haircut, style, color, or change contact:
Adrian
McBroom
920 NW
9th St
Corvallis,
Oregon
(503)
351-9015
…But
then last night happened! It was waaaaay past my bed-time, I think around 11:30
pm and I could not go to sleep. My body itched from the morphine, my elbows
itched from something, not sure what is going on there, my head itched from
hair falling out all over the place. I finally sprung out of bed and announced
to Curtis – “you know what I want right now… a chocolate shake with whip cream
on top and to shave my head!” So I sent my new kiddo driver Jackson to the
store to get celebratory chocolate shakes for all of us, pulled out the hair
clippers, and Curtis and I started chopping off my hair! It felt incredibly
freeing to shave off my hair – liberating for sure.
I am enjoying
life right now! Every single day I am receiving letters that encourage me,
share memories, laugh-out-loud stories, and express how I have made a
difference in people’s lives. It really feels good. It makes me believe more
than ever that we need to be compassionate, kind, caring, loving, and express
our appreciation for the ones that we love – freely – every single day.
I know that
my husband Curtis adores and loves me more than life itself – he shows me this
EVERY single day. He continues to bring incredible joy into my life. I want to
share an excerpt of a writing he did as he works to raise money to bring some
of my Texas children home to see me before I pass. Get the Kleenex out – this one
will touch your heart too.
Dear Christina,
All my life I knew I wanted to be
a husband, a father, and share my life with my best friend. It wasn't until you
were diagnosed with Cancer that I…
My name is Curtis Garrett, and
the letter above is THE letter that I can't find myself finishing without
thinking about losing my soul mate. Christina is someone who gives me so much
life and purpose; we share our passion for joy and for helping others. Several
people can say that Christina is smart, funny, irreverent, fiercely
compassionate, and inspires everyone she encounters. For me, she is my reason
for being a better person every day, for doing my best to love everyone around
me unconditionally.
Four years ago, Christina was
diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. This is an aggressive type of
cancer with poor a prognosis but a built in silver lining: a 90% survival rate if you make it past the
first five years. My first thought when hearing about this was to automatically
go into "protector" husband mode and figure out all the ways my wife
could live and of course, support this process no matter what; being hopeful
and positive was the only way to continue to live and love. At the end of all
of her blogs, "Christina's Real Talk", she wrote, "Today I am
hopeful!"
This is the way she lives her
life every day and as her husband I had to believe that her health would get
better and that she would be one of the lucky ones. Even now, it's hard to give up and to let go
of the possibility of a miracle. At the same time, because Christina is who she
is ...she is preparing us all for r-e-a-l-i-t-y. How can I be hopeful and be
present to the reality?
The only answer I can come up
with is to be with her every step of the way. In the coming days, weeks, or
months my mission is to give back to my wife and to be with her to help her
relive all her best and most beautiful memories. I want to be strong enough for
her so that when our only communication is eye to eye or hand to hand, she will
be able to receive all the love, beautiful memories, and all the admiration I
carry for her in my heart. I want to bestow upon her all of the love, care,
support, and most importantly time to simply be her husband. I want to remind
her everyday how beautiful her eyes are, how she still give me goosebumps when
I hold her hands, and how I can fall in love with her all over again because
all it takes is one conversation to understand she is the love of my life.
Christina is a great WOMAN, wife
and mother. We have fostered and/or adopted 16 children over the last 11 years.
Having been in foster care myself, it has always been a dream to give back.
Christina made this possible and we love all our children. We never give up and
once they came to us, it didn't matter where they went afterwards; we are still
their parents and keep tabs on them. For Christina, this was one of the most
important gifts of life.
Now I won't lie to you all if I say
this is going to be easy; most days I pray so hard for any miracle to come;
please keep praying and wishing to the universe or whatever other "woo
woo" you like, as Christina would say, to keep her in high spirits.
Christina checks in with me every day to see how I am doing; I can't tell her I
don't want to lose her and I can't express to her that Iam not ready. The truth
is I'm not ready to let go, so I choose to stand, sit, and be directly by her
side until she takes her last breath.
I chose to take time off of work
to be by her side and relive every moment of love with her; to express our love
and to finish the letter I started writing to her so that I can read it to her
with pride and bring her legacy and our love to light. I pray that my love will
endure this pain of the unknown yet foreseen even in the hardest days.
Our financial situation has
already declined to the level where it is hard for us to manage regular
expenses. As we are trying not to exhaust all of our savings, I am raising
money to be with my wife during this time, relive our most beautiful memories
together and to be able to pay the medical and housing expenses. I will try to
provide regular updates via gofundme.com, her blog, and social media. Please help me spread the word and help us
accomplish her BEST LIFE EVER LIST!
Curtis is an amazingly awesome guy that I love forever and have been blessed to have him be a part of the journey. He loves me even though and even when - that speaks volumes to me.
I had so many visits from my friends and family; it is fantastic - gosh I am so lucky. Thank you to each person that continues to touch my life, support my family, and love like you never thought you could.
Today, I am hopeful~